stress alternatives

Joe Bloggs....Notice the pun ;)

2011-08-07T02:15:00.000-07:00

There was a wee lad called Joe.
When he was young, if he had a fall, or anything 'bad' happened around him, his Mum would freak out, literally draw in her breath and totally react as if he had died!
Its not surprising that he learned at an early age to 'be careful'. His Mum was always telling him to do this. He didn't do it for himself. In fact, he was a bit puzzled about it. He did it for his Mum, because he hated to see her afraid.
He became a good little boy who never took chances in case he died right in front of his Mum. He learned that his Mum was much more relaxed and happy if he held in his natural instinct to run and climb and swing on ropes and speed down hills on his bike with no hands.
He learned only to do these things when she wasn't there, but, even then a 50% part of him felt tense about it. The part that doubted and believed his Mother's story that he might die.
This tense part stopped him really being able to judge what was dangerous because he would either be wary and think that everything was a danger (like his Mother's story) and this stiffened his muscles, causing slowness and more likelihood of accident, or he would rebel against tha, taking risks, getting a huge adrenalin rush to the point of feeling invincible, and have more near misses and accidents, and get addicted to the adrenalin.
If he had been picked up calmly after a fall, dusted down, given a wash and plaster, given a hug and had the danger calmly pointed out to him, how different would his behaviour have been after?
Possibly, he would have no tension at all while running, climbing and riding his bike, but he would be more aware from previous falls what risks there were, and could 100% enjoy the activity, be totally alert and act in safe way at the same time.
What did that 50% tension end up doing?
Did it really keep him safe, or did it stop him living life to the full?
Even worse, could it have hung around with him, being triggered over and over again every time he seen a 'risk'? Could it have spread to others around him when he grew up the way his Mother's fear did? Could he have found himself having to have a few too many drinks after he drove home in busy traffic to calm himself? Could he have found himself having to stick to a rigid routine to keep 'surprises' at bay? Could he have panicked each time his teenage daughter or son went out with their friends, because that 50% part felt like they might die? Could he have found himself trying to control everyone around him in order to minimise his own fear, even though he couldn't figure out what he was afraid of?
Then, after a while, after developing several addictions like alcohol, prescription drugs, work and computer games, insomnia and depression, he might have gone for therapy. The therapist might have told him that fear was normal and protected him from danger. They might have put his fear down to one or two of the many incidents he noticed in his life where he experienced fear. After talking these incidents through in detail (at £100 per hour!) and figuring out where he had made bad decisions, still his fear may have remained!
Why? Because it wasn't his fear to begin with! It was his Mother's!
And, guess what? His Mother's fear wasn't hers to begin with either! Ding ding!!
I meet lads and lassies like Joe all the time at my work! (But I don't charge £100 per hour!)
So, the next time you feel fear, don't try to analyse or judge it. Just find a way to calm it. We've all been carrying all this on for far too long! For generations!
Time to stop and live our life!
Find out the easy ways to do it on my website.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Love and Plasters
Liz :)

What Will Be Will Be: My Lesson as a Parent and Carer

2011-07-16T12:50:00.000-07:00

Thinking...for a change...about caring about something, especially that which we can't change but would dearly love to.
Like the past: all the daft things we've done or said and regret.
Or the weather. We can't change that, but we can still allow ourselves to get upset about it.
Or the actions of someone else, especially if it's someone we 'care' about or if what they do affects us.
How hard is it to 'not care'? To allow what will be to be?
A lot of our lives, we spend 'caring' or striving to achieve that level of excellence that will gratify us and stop the dissatisfaction of things not being perfect.
'Acceptance' is seen as a dirty word for losers and the mediocre.
But, you know what? Acceptance is not 'giving in' and putting up with 'just good enough'.
In mindfulness, it is a principle of seeing how things really are and letting go of the judgement of it...the 'caring' about it. In fact, having any opinion on it at all...just witnessing it.
It doesn't mean that you then do nothing about it and give in to the situation, because that brings you to despair and depression.
Acceptance is only meant to make you feel better and more relaxed about it, then you can decide what to do next from a more objective place. How to 'duck and dive' and get over the hurdle, rather than plough your way through it and knacker yourself.
Feeling better about anything that's happening in our life, or whatever has happened will lead us to be more flexible, objective, compassionate, more able to adjust and more able to choose the best course of action next.
If something bad does happen, it's better to calm down about it before we react. The old saying, 'count to ten' is so right....but not easy:)
Those who find it hardest to accept are folk who have always 'tried' hard and have often got their success from working, pushing, not giving up, controlling and sometimes manipulating, and 'caring' about what they are doing, and, as long as they get their way...(the 'right' way), they feel great. (Not sure about those around them!)
Even I do it....(surprising no-one I live with) after 21 years of being a mother....silly me! I even do it sometimes with my patients. 'But, of course you should care about your patients!', I hear my ego say! Not when 'caring' and controlling are confused as the same. That's not caring!
That's the carers' sickness really. Often it's really hard for some of us 'carers' to detach from the potential outcome of our therapeutic input with a patient, or our 'care' of a child or sick relative.
When we 'care' or 'attach', we either do too much for them, disempowering them, and draining ourselves, or get annoyed, frustrated or indignant that they don't do what we want, and get critical and judgemental of them, or, worse, reject or cut them off because 'we know best' what they should do in their lives. (Sometimes we may be right, but we won't persuade them we are if we judge them!)
So, should we just accept that some folk...God forbid...think differently from us, and the people we care about go to rack and ruin because of it? No!
But, we have to be in a more objective place before we can really be good at truly caring..This is finally dawning on me....better late than never!
If I feel OK about whatever is going on, even the horrendous news on TV....or horrenous TV for that matter!....or the injustices and corruption all around, or the state of the country's finances and healthcare, or all my own mistakes, and all those who have 'wronged' me, and all my losses and failures, and even about folks I believe to be doing things that are bad for them, I can be more helpful to myself and the world from that place of 'acceptance', because I can think straight about what to do for the best.
But I keep forgetting to feel OK....Wish I had a better memory! I guess I could accept that too:)
Take 'care'.
Liz
www.stressalternatives.co.uk

Fixed!

2011-02-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

Hey
Long time no write!
I blame facebook:) and life being amazing and becoming more amazing every day. You wouldn't think it from the outside, but there's a lot of stuff happening internally, and...any day now...!
I discovered 'meta-medicine', which helped me get into the ball park of the emotional cause for an irritating physical condition and I cured it with a simple process.
Fab! No drugs, remedies (although, believe me, I'd tried them all!) and it all took a few minutes. OMG!
It's amazing what you can achieve when you have an open mind! And good intention.
And you know, all I did was 'allow' as opposed to 'try'! But that takes getting yourself out of the way.
Anyway thanks to meta-medicine, and a visit to a past event and letting go of the emotion that was trapped at that point, I can go the whole night without goin to the loo...Ah joy!
www.metamedicine.com
Love Liz

'As If'

2010-04-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

Hey
Doing a lot of letting go of old fearful beliefs, thoughts and feelings just now.
For some, and myself included, I logically know that fear just gets in the way of seeing things clearly and objectively, but still there's a large part of me resists letting go and getting to a calm place, particularly when it comes to thinking about specific topics. Money, for instance! Myself, for another instance!
And when I think logically about it, it all makes so much sense, but something deep down gives it, 'whoaahh horsey'! Shove on the brakes. Don't calm down. Keep that tension!
Is it all down to habits? Did I cheerfully take on my parents' beliefs about money for instance, and kept a hold of them cos I wanted to be like them, or I didn't trust myself that I'd not live in poverty with nothing to my name if I didn't 'care' about money?
And there's a lot of self-help advice around that says we should 'act as if' we had what we want. And same with life in general. Acting 'as if' will expose us to the threat we feel till we are so used to it, we calm down about it.
But, we can't go around spending money we don't have, for Pete's sake! That's a totally stupid thing to do! (Yes Banks!) It's also pretty stupid to spend every penny we earn and not invest for the future when we can't earn. It's easy to see the whole human race, near enough, shares my fear around money. Some never spend and some spend too much but both are out of balance!
Now what if we just felt 'as if' we had no money worries first? Then we could decide in our calm state, what course of action to take for the best. Stability would be our starting point, and our finishing point too!
So lets work at feeling OK about our 'demons', so 'feeling as if' before 'acting as if'. That means getting right down to the roots in our subconscious, at the beliefs.
It's easier than you think with new energy therapies.
For example, check ou my new ZPoint self help guide from the website.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Giddy up Horsey:)

In Favour of Calmness and Inner Peace

2010-03-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

The other day I helped with a first aid situation. A friend lost her footing and fell backwards down a stone staircase, hitting her head. With my nurses head on, I and several others went into rescue mode. As we sat her up, it was obvious she had cut the back of her head and blood was pouring all over very dramatically.
The outcome for her was fine, though for her clothes maybe not so good.

What was interesting was the reaction of other people in the group. My poor little daughter, who hadn't witnessed anything so horrific before, went white. She had gone into shock. Others probably did too.
Others were calm enough to assist with chairs, paper towels, wipes, etc on our orders. My mother (bless her) went into 'disaster' mode and decided she would need at least an X ray, if not emergency brain surgery!

I was grateful a 'proper' nurse was there, who calmed us all by knowing exactly what to do, and that it wasn't a serious injury.

Meanwhile, the victim of the fall was more concerned that we didn't get blood on our clothes than about herself.

It makes me think of a fear 'continuum' or 'slope'. At an extreme top end, my daughter was so shocked, she 'shut off', and people who faint at the sight of blood shut off even more. Further down that slope, there was my mum, panicking and throwing her fear around by voicing the worst in front of the patient. Then further down were a few others who did their bit to help, including myself. Then the calmest was the nurse who took control, knew exactly what to do, worked on the injury and kept us all calm.

With any situation, a similar fear 'slope' is felt within us. At the top end, we shut off, not feeling the feelinngs and we can't think straight. Further down, we might feel the fear more, but we see disaster round the corner, and throw that fear around. As we get calmer, we can think most objectively and function at our best.

Some may misunderstand and think that total calmness would cause us to do nothing, and 'not care', but I'd put that in the 'shut off' area.

I don't believe that we need a little bit of tension to function, as is often suggested by psychologists. When we're calm, we think straight. We can still have drive, enthusiasm, joy, and energy and be calm. In fact, it is essential for true optimum functioning. Tension gets in the way of enjoying all of the good things.

So, what if we are someone who faints at the sight of blood, or is phobic of heights, loses our temper before we can stop ourself, or gets panicky as soon as the spotlight hits us, or gets unexplained pain, emotional or physical? They all point to that underlying tension in what most people call our subconscious mind. There are 'programmes' or belief systems running underneath that feed the tension, or what energy therapists call vibrational frequencies.

Our behaviour, thoughts, feelings and body reactions are clues to us about our underlying programmes. They are like the mushrooms that show up above ground that indicate the main fungus underneath the soil. They are our pain, but also are our potential start of a way out of the pain. There is a saying by Werner Erhard: 'The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off'. Pain is our messenger, not our enemy. Now, isn't that a good way to look at it? We can never any more be a victim to it. We can 'let go' or calm ourselves when we feel it.

Going back to beginning to tackle the fear, we can do so much by intention to let go every time we feel it, and using a technique or practice to calm on a regular basis for the background 'fungus'.

Loads of quick calming techniques to try for free on my website. www.stressalternatives.co.uk.

All the Best

Liz

Calming our Naughty Child Inside

2010-01-30T14:46:00.000-08:00

Hi
Here's a different way to look at our stress.
What if we could see it as the stressed naughty child inside of us that clambers for our attention? Long ago this child was born inside us, often as a result of a difficult event in our little susceptible young minds.
We might have matured as adults, but some part of us is stuck in the past, creating that pattern of thoughts, emotional tension and behaviour. That part kind of got stuck and didn't mature alongside us, even though it is still part of us.
We do all sorts of things to avoid or deal with that stress our child inside displays to us. See my blog, How to increase your emotional pain and keep it alive. We give it plenty of negative attention in the form of ignoring it, fighting it, suppressing it etc., and, like the naughty child, it ends up ruling us, and stopping us really living life to the full.
Often it's a crisis such as illness, addiction, relationship conflict or depression that can make us stop and examine the stressed child. Sometimes, even these crises have to be experienced over and over, and medical treatment failing or a new relationship create the same old problems.
Actually, the stressed child is not the 'devil incarnate' tho we sometimes call them our 'inner demons'. That younger part of us made certain conclusions and decisions during that difficult time in our lives that helped us make sense of and cope with what was going on at the time. Things like 'I'm not as good as others' in response to a failure, or 'I'll never get over ....' or 'I'll have to make up for being bad' keep the child stuck in the past and keep the program running in our subconscious mind, and all we know is that we feel panic when we get critisised or anger when we are ignored or guilty when we have to say no.
In traditional therapy, we would try and identify when the stressed child was born and try to understand it. This is fine, but takes a long time and isn't easy to do on one's own, but, like when you talk to the stressed child, it stops stressing.
In energy therapies, we just aim to calm that stressed child as quick as possible. When a child keeps tugging at you looking for attention, any good attention will calm them and bring out the best in them. Bad attention will just keep it stressed.
Next time that immature part of us causes stressed feelings, instead of thinking, 'This should not be happening!', we could try imagining us and it working together arm in arm to help us. I suspect that as a result of that alone without any fancy therapy it would start to grow up quite quickly and stop stressing itself and us!
For all the quick calming measures though, see my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Happy 2010 from Liz!

Gratitude and Giving

2009-10-17T02:29:00.000-07:00

Hey
You know when you were young, your parents, teachers and grown ups would tell you what was right and wrong?

If you were lucky, they'd tell you it's good to give, it's good to say thank you and please, and to be kind to one another.

It's just as well we knew what was 'right' in our house, because with 3 girls (I was the oldest and the bully!), we were often fighting, being selfish and being downright cruel to each other. Our 'dark' side would regularly rear its merry head causing 'hell' in our otherwise happy home.

I didn't know how lucky I was to have this kind of guidance as I was growing up. Sometimes it felt like I was always bad, that guilt was my best friend...well, actually it was! It was not only my most frequent 'bad' feeling but it stopped me from being too selfish and uncaring.

Giving to others didn't come naturally to me, so when I gave, it exercised my 'giving' muscles bit by bit (though I still have a long way to go! having 3 kids has helped this too!) i.e. I get to open my heart which has a tendency to keep shutters up a lot. (Well I do come from the heart disease capital of the world!).

If we read any of the big religions or the 'new age' literature, giving, thanking or praising is big. In fact, its meant to be a frequent, daily practice.

We all need our heart muscles metaphorically exercised as well as physically. In fact, doesn't exercise cure depression? I know why. being grateful and giving also cures it if we make it a regular habit. It helps us focus on the positive, and the more we do it, the stronger it gets.

Of course, its hard to begin with and it can feel like we're a 'tall poppy' among the 'Victor Meldrews', but watch out for the good things just getting bigger and bigger!

Then, after a time we get to be grateful for the seemingly bad things that happen too (some cynics may call this delusion!), but its all life! We have a choice (Adam and Eve?) to choose gratitude and giving, or anger and victim mentality.

I'm still doing the latter far too much, but I keep exercising!

Thanks Mum!

Have a look at my gratitude script in my free ebook. Chapter 4.

www.stressalternatives.co.uk.

Mind Grooves

2009-10-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

Hi
Sorry to go on about my dog again, but Taz has been giving us problems again! Or should I say 'challenges'? Or should I say, "He's been a little.....!" So much so that we were given the services of a brilliant dog behaviourist,Paul (www.K9ClickerTraining.co.uk) from our dog rescue centre. He reckons Taz does naughty stuff, not because of anxiety and the need to relieve tension, but because he's got a 'devilish' streak, and acts like that because he can! In other words, we have allowed the behaviour to develop.

Of course, to stop the behaviour now is going to cause initial tension because the habit has already been formed. So us humans have been given a set of instructions on how to allow him to feel the discomfort and calm him when we 'orchestrate' the trigger. (I love that expression 'orchestrate'!) After a few repetitions of calming, the bad behaviour stops and our doggy becomes a little angel!

Bad habits become ingrained just as easily in humans if they are repeated. We can calm ourselves when we realise we are going down the habitual route, unlike dogs who don't have an awareness of the trigger to behaviour route.

The trigger to behaviour route becomes a familiar groove in our mind the more often it is repeated.It also includes thoughts and feelings. In fact, the grooves we make in our minds feel like bobsleigh routes for some. Some patterns of behaviour we have been repeating over and over all our lives. For example, someone irritates us, and, before we know it, we're moaning, critisising or having a go at them. Someone moans at us, and, before we know it, we react by getting defensive and self-righteous. For someone who has built up self-consciousness about their appearance, the trigger can be as simple as passing a mirror, and the bobsleigh route of thoughts, feelings, panic symptoms and behaviour follow in micro-seconds.

Habitual thoughts are a result of those bobsleigh routes too. Some folk can hook on to suicidal ones. Some will think,'What's the point?' Some will think, 'I don't have enough.' Some will think, 'I am sick.'

Those thoughts are connected to painful feelings. It's all so sad!

Or what if we could make use of those painful feelings to remind us we're on the bobsleigh route?

So how do we stop ourselves going down the routes? After all, the routes are deep grooves!

If we can calm a dog, maybe we could calm ourselves! Maybe we could 'orchestrate' the trigger to behaviour/ thoughts/ feelings route a few times and deliberately calm ourselves in some way to replace that tension that the trigger activated? What if we deliberately thought about our lack of money, or our fearful or suicidal thoughts and intend to calm our resulting tension at that point?

There's loads of ways to change that tension to relaxation, from deliberate distraction to gratitude to energy therapies. Energy therapies make it so much quicker and less repetition and 'orchestration' will be necessary.

Look on my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk. Look especially at my 'Intentional detachment practice' article.

Time for 'walkies'!

Positive and Negative

2009-07-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hey
I used to be such a negative person, and now I'm a little less so (maybe!). I used to marvel at these people who could always see the bright side of life, and always knew what they wanted and went all out to get it.

Having just been in Florida, I've seen what this attitude can really achieve, and why the American Dream at it's best is so amazing.

Us Brits on the whole have inherited much more of a moderate, cautious nature, and this recession is pushing all our buttons.

Once I realised how damaging being negative was in my life, it was tempting for me to beat myself up every time I noticed negative thoughts and stubbornly stay positive about everything.

'What's wrong with that?', I hear you say. 'Positive is best, isn't it?' Following your dream is best, isn't it? Look what Disney achieved! Think what mankind could achieve if we are all positive!

Trouble is when positivity becomes blind to potential pitfalls. When there is so much drive to achieve the dream that we get stupid at best, and uncaring and damage others at worst. When we borrow too much money and trust that we will be able to pay it back, and the banks give it to us, so it must be OK. When we convince ourselves it's fine to carry on eating junk and drinking to excess, or not planning for kids coming along, or old age, or sickness. Anyway, the government will provide, or Dad. Anyway, I'll live forever!

So, maybe it's not about changing negative to positive blindly. Isn't that what we do anyway? On one hand, keep everything under control, then have slurges and throw caution to the wind. All or nothing!

So, how do we keep balanced? How can we get what we want, or achieve our dreams without getting too blind to the pitfalls or despondant about getting there? The current new age wisdom says keep the goal in mind, but don't fret about it. If we want it too badly, we'll create such a tension that it will be such hard work, few will get there, unless we've got real stubborn drive and a lot of energy, and a strong constitution!

Some interpret the Law of Attraction to mean that all we need to do is keep the goal in mind and magically it will happen for us. Being negative after setting a goal will doom most to failure, but, equally, being blindly positive will not flag up potential problems that need to be overcome, and the dream then becomes an unachievable fantasy.

With all sorts of 'all or nothing' behaviour and thinking, there is no balance because there is tension. The more tension, the more extreme the 'all and nothing' is.

When we find ourselves doing all or nothing, we know we have tension. So let it go! Don't fret about the outcome! Be grateful for what we've got and build on that! Just relax on the spot. Do it with ZPoint, meditation, sports, diversion, EFT, slowing down our breathing, or sending thanks and love to the perpetrator, including ourselves. When we do this, we don't bury our head in the sand. We make some space in our mind for the problems to find solutions, rather than fuel the anxt.

Och, I've rambled on enough! Have a nice day:)

Check out my website www.stressalternatives.co.uk.

Nature doesn't need a story!

2009-06-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

Nature is amazing!
I was walking the dog in scrub woodland a few weeks ago, and there were several large patches of ground that had been burned by our local vandals because the previous plants had dried up and died.

A few days later, walking the same route , I was amazed to see the ground was being populated by hundreds of plants. In fact, it looked like the burning of the old had left a perfect clear habitat for the seedlings to grow with vigour.

Here in Scotland, I know this very thing goes on naturally (without the vandals!) in the heather covered hills, and the new takes over the old.

What if we could all do that whenever we got 'burned' by life events?

What if we didn't add our victim story or our anger and justification of it, or our worry about the burning happening again, or our labelling ourselves as less as a result of the burning?

What if we just let all that past story go and any sign of it in the form of the debris of negativity or tension, and just start from this moment in a vigourous growth spurt? We could still take the good seeds along with us, and the expectant rich soil that is fertilised by our wisdom collected up till then, and our hopes and dreams and plans and goals.

Then we could just wait and see what comes our way in our environment!

What if we don't need to add a story?

What if we just pick ourselves up and renew ourselves at every opportunity?

www.stressalternatives.co.uk
All the Best
Liz :>)

How to Increase Your Emotional Pain and Keep it Alive!

2009-04-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

The subject matter in this blog comes thanks to a fantastic mental health project in Edinburgh called Redhall Walled Garden, who asked me to give a talk. Thanks to the trainees for putting up with my awful acting, and for staying to the end! BTW they didn't ask me to increase their emotional pain as the title suggests!

Inavertantly, we do an amazing amount of things to keep our emotional pain alive. It's not our fault, like some people (including ourselves) may think. Most of us don't really have a deliberate self-destructive masochistic side to us! We just don't realise what we're doing. It's like when we have to deal with a naughty child that keeps bugging us wanting attention.

Here's some of the things we do in response to sadness, fear, anger, excessive guilt and embarrassment. The same can be applied to the naughty child!

1) Dreading it: We say things like, 'This should not be happening!'

2) Fighting it: Seems like a good idea, but it will be back! Negative attention is better than no attention. Ask a naughty child!

3) Feeling guilty about it: Using it as an excuse to beat ourselves up. Naughty children can spot this to get what they want a mile away!

4) Hiding it: Pretending that we're 'normal' by not having the pain. Actually, it's more normal to have pain.

5) Being proud of it: We relate to others who have similar pain. We get what we want by expressing it. We all need an identity. If only we could identify more with the positives in our lives.

6) Being scared of it: This one is curious! We're scared of being scared.....the double whammy! But, like the naughty child, we have to be in control of it or it takes control. We have to calm ourselves when the pain turns up to be able to deal with it.

7) Suppressing it: Shoving it away when it appears only makes it come back, or lurk about, generally making us uncomfortable.

8) Playing with it: This one gives us a buzz. It's like the fairground ride or the adventure game. That excitement we feel when we are angry or fearful.

9) Analysing it: Our pains become a subject of great fascination for not only ourselves, but for friends and particularly for our psychiatrists and therapists (me too!). Of course, the idea in analysing it is that we can understand and cope with them, but, like the naughty child, we reward the negative behaviour instead of the positive.

10) Being a victim to it: Getting depressed about it and letting it 'get' to us means that it has total control.

11) Tormenting yourself with it: This happens when it goes quiet. We can't believe that it's not there, so we poke it a bit and wake it up. We don't exactly miss it, but we're a bit lost and confused without it. Then we complain when it comes back!

12) Feeling we need it: The absolute delusion! We cling to it because we think we'll do reckless things without fear. Actually, it's the fear that makes us do the reckless things. Fight/flight reaction drains away blood from our rational mind, so we can't think clearly. 'Counting to ten' before we act isn't such a bad idea.

All of these responses only feed that pain. The problemitself isn't often the real problem. Sure, sadness, anger, fear, embarrassment and excess guilt are not nice, but we make them last longer and they become more persistant because of our response to them. The naughty child loves all that!

So, what calms the naughty child? Acknowledgement they exist, reassurance, love and clear, calm messages about what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

Could we do the same to ourselves when we experience emotional pain? Acknowledge it, reassure ourselves it won't last, stop beating ourselves up for having it and give it a clear message that it's time to let go instead of letting it get to us.

Look at my website for my free ebook and articles that will help. www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Liz Temple

Yes to Life ZPoint Course

2009-04-20T10:33:00.001-07:00

Hi
It's not often I shamelessly promote someone else's products, but this one has really shifted so much stuff for me personally. Inprevious blogs I've done, I have often recommended ZPoint Process. It's an amazing self help energy therapy that is so easy to learn and carry around with us and use whenever we feel distressed. It works as quickly as EFT (emotional freedom technique) and other similar modalities, but can be much more subtlely used when we are out in public, and doesn't give us the same self consciousness that some of us British folk suffer from so much!
In fact, it can be used for that very thing!! See my website www.stressalternatives.co.uk.

The beauty of this therapy is that it not only can be used for 'on the spot' distress, but can be used in the background for specific problems that repeat often in our lives, such as anger, depression and fear. The idea is to tune into the distressed feeling, like EFT does, and then to make an intention to 'clear' it. We 'tune in' by thinking about something or someone that brings up a feeling. That's how we bring the past and future into the present. Any tension that is brought up by this is then 'cleared' by intention and repeating a 'cue word' to ourselves.

Grant Connolly, the creator of this process has taken this further to address even deeper issues that all of us experience. His 21 days course covers aspects such as ourselves, our feeling of deserving, relationships, money worries, allowing 'what is', the need to be perfect, doubts and discomfort with change. His new protocol, recently devised, has been utilised in his new 'Yes to Life' course. It seems to go deeper than anything I personally have experienced in ZPoint, which is saying something because I've done some amazing alternative therapies. It covers our early years, worries, trust and self esteem. Since doing this, I feel the usual things that push my distress buttons have little or no effect. Any that do, I can easily deal with quickly.

Have a look on www.zpointforpeace.com.

Natural Instincts

2009-02-27T13:11:00.000-08:00

I've talked about my doggy before and his natural instincts. Well here's more discussion of doggy behaviour.

The other day I had to put a stop to his barking at the men digging the road outside our garden. He likes to think he's a super scary guard dog, and, I guess it goes with the breed that he naturally wants to bark at every man that comes anywhere near his territory. He also does the same to the vaccuum cleaner and hairdryer! Both very dangerous things for dogs!

When he gets started down the barking route, I can see him getting quite excited and having an adrenalin rush from it (testosterone!) Some would say it is natural for a dog to do this, and a wild dog would use this for survival.

However, our hairy mutt lives in a nice quiet cul-de-sac in a wee village and is spoiled stupid! That natural instinct to growl and bark at all that feels threatening must not be encouraged to become a habit, no matter how great it feels to our 4 legged pup!

It might help him to release tension and get a buzz from it but it is not acceptable to scare the life out of any unfortunate male who dares to walk along our lane, anyone who rides a bike, or the poor postman who stuffs letters through the letterbox into his sacred space, not to mention the poor vax that clean up his hairs!

This behaviour has to be stopped before it becomes too much of a habit and we are labelled the neighbours from hell. (I think it's too late for the postman!)

So I just bark back at him to get his attention, then calm him down in an assertive way, as Ceaser says in 'The Dog Whisperer'.

We humans aren't much different. We get into habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving, often from an early age, and if the habit isn't stopped early on, it becomes like a well travelled route in our psyche. We literally make deep grooves in our brain and it feels like there's no other route we can go down when something triggers our fear reactions.

But it isn't appropriate or fair that we 'bark' at or hide away from the world, most of which isn't out to get us (unless we do too much barking!). Hiding away doesn't serve us too well either, as we end up leading half a life and get depressed because we don't fulfil our potential, and our fearful thoughts get bigger as our world gets smaller.

So, like training our hairy pup with calm assertiveness, we have to work on calming ourselves as soon as we recognise we're off down that well travelled route again. It takes a bit of discipline to keep stopping ourselves on that route and choosing another, which is literally uncharted territory for us. But we're human, and this awareness is what makes us different from animals.

It's amazing what can happen to make it easier as soon as we make the sincere decision to do it, and stick to it. Often it takes a crisis in our lives, like a relationship breakup threat or an illness to force us into looking at ourselves and our 'routes'. Once a decision to make changes is made often people, books, media items and ideas that help will start to resonate with us.

My website will help get you started, or do you want to carry on 'barking' and living a fearful life?

www.stressalternatives.co.uk.

All the Best
Liz

Prevaricating about the Bush!

2008-10-18T05:06:00.000-07:00

Hey
It's been some time and I'm still plagued by thinking too much so here's some thoughts:
We don't half beat about the bush and create unnecessary suffering for ourselves!
I had someone come for help the other day (and many others like her in the past) who sincerely wanted to get better, so, after listening to her story, I started to suggest ways to quickly reduce her suffering.
'Yes, but', she said, 'What I really want is to find out why I keep feeling the way I do. I feel I won't get better till I know this.'
Now, psychotherapists and counsellers do this, and sometimes it even helps people to understand why they overeat, or self-harm in other ways, or get bad tempered or whatever. They get 'eureka' moments where it all makes sense why they feel guilty when a news item showing cruelty to animals comes on the telly, or why they become enraged by someone moving their carefully lined up tins of beans out of line. They cook up a theory with their therapist that sounds very plausable and intelligent, and they believe it because their therapist is the expert.
It's all very nice to get an explanation that satisfies our curious nature, and gives us a sense of knowing ourself a bit better, but, in the end, to stop the repeated patterns of behavior, we still have to let go and move on. Belief changing is one way to do this, which we can do with our therapist, or we can do in our daily lives.
For example, if we believe we are stupid, we find ourselves failing repeatedly at things academic, and we spend a lot of our time thinking self-deprecating thoughts. This belief creates a block to success. It might have come originally from an innocent comment from a parent or teacher. If we make a decision to let go of this belief, we can find ourselves succeeding in things we wouldn't have dreamt of succeeding in before, because we no longer get in a state when we are asked to use our brains or logic. We can think straighter!
But what if we just let go of the need to know why we feel bad, and just got on with dealing with it? What if, whenever we feel bad, we just use a technique like Z Point (www.zpointprocess.com) or letting go in other ways described on my web site www.stressalternatives.co.uk? Quite often, we get insights into the 'whys' when we use these techniques anyway.
Another thing we very commonly do that stops us dealing with it ourselves is blame others. We often will say that we can't feel better till that other person or the rest of our world acts in a certain way. We can't be happy till everyone lines up their tins of beans with the labels at the front or till our loved one stops being angry.
We don't need to know how a car works to get into it and drive it, so why do we insist on understanding how our minds work? It's just wasting time and creating unnecessary suffering.
Ultimately, we can ask ourselves, 'Do we want to know why, or do we want to feel better now?', or 'Do we want to change the world or start with ourselves?'
Honestly, it's that simple!
Love Liz

Avoidance Behaviour

2008-04-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

Hi
Today I decided to avoid a route I normally take during my work hours, where I do a lot of driving. The reason was because of those terrible speed bumps they recently put down on so many roads around the part of Edinburgh I work in. It bugs me that I have to slow down on those roads and get my car suspension assaulted every time I go down these roads.
The trouble is , they seem to be unavoidable at present, and if you don't have a tractor, a giant petrol guzzling 4 wheel drive, or a 2cv (made for driving over ploughed fields!) , you really can't avoid eventual damage or extra wear on your car. I suppose I could leave my car at home and never go out in it, thus restricting my lifestyle.
In life we can do the same. Some of us avoid anything too difficult because of the emotional discomfort it brings. If we stick to our safe routines we will lead a restricted life, and never experience the joy of succeeding at something we find challenging. We will also find ourselves getting depressed. Then when something changes in our life, and eventually it will, no matter how much we lead a sheltered life, we are devastated because we haven't learned any coping skills.
Another way we avoid the pain is to try and regulate our environment, by trying to control what others do, either by bullying or manipulation, or by getting addicted to food, alcohol, work, people, spending, activity, attention, or all of these! In this scenario, we have learned coping mechanisms, but they don't give us any lasting peace or real power because they rely on the world outside of ourselves. When we eventually come up against something we can't change, or do something external about, we also are devastated.
This is when we just have to accept that pain is a part of life. This is not to say that we can't do anything once we have recognised the pain and felt it. What we do, though, is remove it internally by making an intention to let it go and accept what is. It's not giving in. It's being pragmatic. I like that!
In reality, life allows us to do both avoiding and letting go. The more full our life, the more opportunities we have to eventually learn we can't control everything on the 'outside', and we let go without realising that's what we are doing. This makes us more resilient.
This is different from suppressing our emotions. We don't let go and we don't accept what is in this case. We just don't express them, and bottle them up, till the next time a similar situation comes along. I had the opportunity of doing this with the speed bumps today, when I came across more on the road I did go along. I could have got frustrated that I couldn't avoid them in the end, but I decided to have a smile to myself, and accept they are there to stay.
But once we know consciously that we can do this in every situation that we feel tension and subsequent emotion, we can tune into that emotion, and change it to a state of relaxation intentionally. To make it easier, we can use an energy therapy such as Z point process or emotional freedom technique. Both have great web sites to learn the process for self help use.
Some emotions and tension are so habitual that they are bound to come back later, but, like any new skill, eventually they will leave us if we persist in letting go.
The first thing is to start looking for pain as our opportunity instead of something to be avoided. Then it isn't such a bad thing after all!
Liz
www.stressalternatives.co.uk

Housework

2008-03-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

I know I keep harping on about how much I dislike housework, but here's another blog about it.

Today, being Good Friday, I was having a lazy time at home this morning, surrounded by an unvacuumed floor, overflowing bins, dirty toilet etc etc. With everyone else who lives with me just as unwilling to clean the house (as within, so without!), I felt justified in sitting on my favourite (dirty) chair and reading Eckhart Tolle's latest book without guilt. (By the way, it's fantastic- and look at Oprah Winfrey's site to see him being interviewed about it).

Then a new turn of events took place. I received a phone call from my sister saying she might come round. Suddenly I sprung into action and ran around with the vaccuum cleaner and cleaning cloth with the purpose and efficiency of an old pro. (ie cleaning the bits of the house that would be seen by visitors!)

Now ordinarily I would have procrastinated and sat around a bit more, took the dog out, made some pancakes, went on the computer, watched that fascinating children's TV programme, but my sister has a lovely clean house that anyone can visit at a moment's notice, and frankly (hard to admit!) I worried about what she thought of me, and suddenly the energy to clean came from this!

It occured to me, how can we let go of the need for approval of others if it serves such a useful purpose? My house is cleaner as a result of this. In general, our behaviour is better as a result of holding on to this need. Having this in too much quantity though can result in obsessiveness about appearance, to the extent of getting a doctor to cut bits out of you, or add bits in! Or needing approval of your mates on a Saturday night can result in antisocial behaviour in our town centres. We act like sheep with our 'herd mentality' because of this need for approval. We join together with other like minded people, and anyone who acts differently is rejected and labelled and picked on. Originality of thought and individuality is discouraged. Those that do succeed in being different are those who know they are right, whether they are or not! If I had enough self-confidence to not mind what my sister thought, I wouldn't feel guilty about having a rest day, and my sister would respect me more because I respected myself more.

Have you ever been into a house where the person you visit goes so far as to voice their embarrassment about the state of the place? I do it all the time! I have to! (It's very Scottish!) Basically we are saying, 'I am less because I'm a bad housewife', whereas, if I paid full attention to my visitor instead of my housework neurosis. I would get more respect (unless the visitor has a huge housework and 'keeping up appearances' complex too!) My sister would come into the house and we could have a good chat and she wouldn't mind the mess because I wouldn't mind!

The Sedona Method (http://www.sedona.com/) teaches us to let go of wanting approval, because it's one of the three basic 'wants' behind our emotional pain. Anything 'wanting' means we never really get it until we let go of the 'wanting'. This is also what the Law of Attraction says. Don't pay attention to our 'wants' or they get bigger. We can still make plans to get what we want and act on these plans, but the plan will be the best plan if we don't need to get the thing so much ('needing' meaning wanting too much) .

If you go for a job interview 'needing' to get the job, your fear will show and your attention will be on the fear rather than the moments of the interview, ie you won't fully be present since half of you will be quivering in your designer boots! By the way, you wont go the opposite way by being calm, ie you wont turn up at the interview in your dirty jeans, not having prepared the information needed about the job or company. If you intend seriously to get the job, you will do the work needed and dress appropriately.Turning up unprepared in dirty jeans means you sabotage yourself too because of a different neurosis.

Anyway, back to my story about the housework, should I give up the need for approval when I have such a lazy attitude to housework? Maybe I should sort that one out first. It's too confusing! Probably I should just keep sorting out whatever comes up till I get some peace, but then I shouldn't 'want' the peace too much or I'll not get it!

Look at my website to find out my favourite ways. http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.

Liz

Sabotage 2

2008-03-17T15:57:00.000-07:00

Hi Reader
Thought I'd make a list of common sabotaging beliefs that possibly could be stopping us all making progress in whatever we decide to do for improvement for ourselves, as a follow on from the last blog.
I'm ploughing my way through them myself to test them out, and invite you to do the same. The idea is, as I've said in the last blog, is to take the 'brakes' off and let whatever we do or intend have a smoother path.
Here are the beliefs and prior decisions:
- This is just the way I am/ I will always be this way;
- I must always be careful / cautious;
- I can't cope with life;
- It’s too much effort to do things differently;
- I am too sick to change;
- I am too tired/ I don’t have the stamina;
- I am too damaged/ I’ve been through too much;
- I don’t need to change. I just want to feel better;
- I will end up with more responsibility/ People will want me to do more/ I won’t be able to live up to people’s expectations;
- I don’t deserve to feel better/ I’m not good enough/ I deserve to suffer;
- It will change me and I will lose friends/ I will not be accepted;
- I’m not clever/ interesting/ creative/ good enough;
- Once I’ve made my mind up, I don’t compromise;
- I only want perfection/ I have to do things right;
- I can’t let go or I’ll make the same mistake again;
- I can’t let go or I’ll feel something worse;
- If I change I won’t feel safe/ Change is too scary;
- Life was meant to be hard;
- Nothing ever works/ I’ve tried everything/ I’m fooling myself;
- I am only a woman/ child/ uneducated/ an ordinary person;
- I don’t have time to change habits/ I’ll get round to it later;
- There’s no easy way/ The mind is too complex and should be left to the experts;
- My brain chemistry is defective;
- You can’t change your inheritance/ My parents were the same;
- It’s all so hopeless;
- Life is pointless;
- Others need to change before I can be happy;
- I need to be slimmer/ better looking/ get my degree/ be married to … and have children/ have a lot of money before I can be happy;
- I need an escape;
- I will always be a worrier/ loser/ struggle/ a failure;
- I want to die/ destroy myself;
- I need lots of support/ I can’t do it on my own;
- I don’t care/ I’m already in trouble and I’ve nothing to lose;
- I’ll live fast and die young;
- I know myself best/ no-one can tell me what to do any more/ what do they know?/ I’ve heard it all before;
- I will never get over this/ forgive them for what they have done;
- I trust no-one/ People are always trying to get one over on me;
- I don’t trust women/ men/ authority figures/ doctors/ new age theories/ religion……..;
- I’m only fooling myself that things can get better/ I will never be cured;
- I have no power over my life;
- I never get what I want;
- I’m too old to change now;
- My problems take years to get over.
Some of these will jump out at you as obviously relating to you and others not so much. My suggestion is to start work on the obvious ones first, and any that you come up with yourself, and try the following:
Start by taking each belief and asking, ‘What if this was not true?’ That puts some doubt into your mind. Then make an intention to let it go, because it is causing you pain.
Do this by saying to yourself, or out loud, ‘I make an intention to let go of the belief, ‘I will always be this way’, then move on to the next one.
Doing this with the aid of an energy therapy like Zpoint or EFT will make this process incredibly powerful, I think, so if you do it this way, take care to do only a few beliefs at a time, maybe about 4 or 5 max. Let me know how it goes for you. Love Liz
http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/

Sabotage

2008-02-23T12:36:00.000-08:00

Hi
Some of us have huge self-destruct buttons! Whenever we decide to do something that's good for us, we take one step forward and two steps back!. Life becomes a series of events in which we try to undo all the damage of the prior self destruct buttons being pressed.
Dieting is a great example of this. We have to go on it because we have been over-indulgent in the past and put on weight, then when we start on the diet, or the second we decide to go on the diet, we are sorely tempted by all the foods that will put the weight back on and more!
It would appear that we are always attracted to that which is bad for us! All of a sudden, whenever we decide to make improvements, we get obsessed by all the temptations that will do the opposite!
Whenever we decide to work on our confidence, we seem to fail at everything we try, or listen even more to all our negative thoughts about how useless we are. Whenever we decide to get out of our poverty consciousness, a load of unexpected bills arrive that make us give attention even more to the fact that we're skint!
It can appear that we are tempted by the devil! In fact, what is more likely is that what is active in our minds are our sabotaging beliefs that create tension and fear. They are our own 'demons' created by us in the past as a result of difficult experiences. At the time of formation they would have served a function as our attempt to make sense of the experience or to stop us getting hurt by any experience that is similar in the future.
For example, we might have experienced rejection by someone important to us, and often more than once, which could lead us to feeling empty and having a belief that we are unloveable, and that we can't trust people. Add to this a load of beliefs about thin people being more loveable and successful and gorgeous, and a 'memory'of treating ourselves in the past with lovely fattening foods, associating eating with comfort and 'self-nurturing', and we are set up in life to be a cyclical dieter and binger!
So, what would stop the sabotage?
Maybe success in the diet through sheer will power and persistence would be enough to make us let go of some of our self-deprecating beliefs, that would make the diet become easier, but the millions spent on the diet industry and the growing problem of obesity in the western world, suggests that just doing that doesn't work too well.
'Experts' tell us just to persist and persevere, and those that do have a better chance of success because they are not giving their sabotaging thoughts and beliefs any attention. When they appear, they get ignored and it's back to the diet.
The trouble comes when those 'demons' are louder than the sensible, logical desire to lose the weight. When this happens, dieting is pointless or can even be bad as we really do take one step forward and two steps back, or 10 pounds off and 12 pounds back on!
The degree of attachment we have to our sabotaging beliefs will determine how hard we have to work to get anywhere.
It's like driving a car with the brakes on. No matter what direction we take, or what task we take on, these 'brakes' will be active, unless we decide to let them off, i.e. let the thoughts go!
A lot of the thoughts will be from self-deprecating beliefs formed in childhood, given to us by our well-meaning parents and teachers, which was the fashionable way to make model citizens when I was a child!
But, what if we just made a decision to let go of all sabotaging beliefs, whether we can identify them or not?
The best way I know to do this is with energy therapies. Z point process takes advantage of the fact that we already know deep down what these beliefs are, and so does EFT and TAT.
How great would it be if we could start our journey by taking off the brakes first?
Check my web site for more information. www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
All the best
Liz

Warning Signs

2007-12-28T15:39:00.000-08:00

I got a new lease car two weeks ago, and I love it!

I discovered it has a feature that I've never had on any car I've previously had. When it needs diesel, a light comes on, as with other cars I've had, but this one, when it gets dangerously low in fuel, the light starts flashing on and off. I like this! I'm easily pleased!

Wouldn't it be great if we could have a wee warning system like that when it comes to nurturing our mind? If only we had a flashing light that came on when we stopped nurturing our mind.

Actually, we do have a warning system in place. They are called emotions. They let us know by causing us pain that we are thinking something that is bad for us. In a situation that triggers off these thoughts, such as being out of our comfort zone, or rising to an annoying comment, we 'hook'. This process of 'hooking', or thinking a series of thoughts cause the emotional pain.

For example, we might go down the road of thinking thoughts that we are not good enough in a social situation, which might lead to emotional pain of embarrassment and anxiety. We are so wrapped up in our thoughts, i.e. our 'hooking' that we can't be in the 'here and now', and enjoy the social interactions in an authentic way. On top of that, if we don't see the emotional pain for what it is, just the 'warning light', we can start adding more bad thoughts to the 'hook' about how painful it is to be so shy, or shaky, or blushing, or panicky, making the hook bigger and the pain bigger as a result.

But maybe if we seen the emotional pain as the warning light that we are 'hooking', we could 'unhook' or 'let go' and stop the emotional pain. My website has some good tips on how http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.

With the car, I might decide to be stubborn and ignore the flashing light, and carry on driving, but inevitably the car will come to a halt if I don't take decisive action and buy some fuel, no matter how new or shiny it is!

It isn't so clear cut with us humans if we ignore the warning signals. Yes, we probably come to a halt in the end, but we tend to chunter along for a while in a less than optimum way, getting ill; losing opportunities; forming addictions if we don't take decisive action to 'unhook'.

It's a new way of working, but it puts us in the driving seat!
Happy New Year
Liz

Read This Several Times!

2007-12-28T14:27:00.000-08:00

Here's something for you to get your head round!

When looking at ourselves and making changes, many of us, examining the way we are feeling, or something we are going through or have gone through in the past, look for an explanation or the 'point' of it all before we can feel we can let go and move on. We might often think, 'What's the point?' or, 'Why has this happened?'. We may go to therapy or counselling and pay someone a lot of money for them to help us find the explanation, or we may join a religious organisation or get into the new age scene to help put our experience into a nice framework that explains it all to us.

There may be a point in coming up with a point, but it stops us making progress if we insist on finding the point before we let go! What if we just postponed our need to find the point by asking ourselves, 'What if there is no need to find the point, at least for now?'.

The point is, whether there is a point or not is immaterial! We could just let go of our pain causing thoughts at the point of pain, and move on! Do we get the point?

Actually, our human egos put the idea into our heads that we need an explanation, or a point, as a way of keeping us where we are: as a way of putting off letting go and moving on.

I think letting go of the need to know the 'point' might give us more insight into what the point is in the end! Or maybe there is no point!!

www.stressalternatives.co.uk

House and Mind Training

2007-12-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas and Love For this Next Year to All!
We have a new baby in our home! Our puppy! Yes, he's not just for Christmas but for life, but what a responsibility! It's our job to train him to act in a socially acceptable way, and that doesn't just include 'sit' and 'paw' and 'high five'! These are the easy things to teach him because he gets instant gratification in the form of a treat for doing them, and a great deal of 'aws' and 'ahs' from the humans!

Teaching him new tricks is much easier than trying to get him to unlearn old habits. For example, he insists on peeing everywhere indoors, as was his habit in kennels. As an optimist in training (I've still got loads to learn!), I have tried not to go down the route of fretting every time my carpet gets another dose of puppy excretion, but have seen it as an 'opportunity' to point out puppy's 'errors', and run promptly to the back door with him, calmly saying, 'No, outside!', as opposed to, 'Oh, bother! That's another stinking stain on my lovely floor. We'll never get the smell of pee out the carpet. Will he ever learn, the stupid mut! We'll be up to our ears in p--- and s--- soon!' Etc etc. (You get the picture?)

I must admit, it is SO tempting to go along the route of the latter way of thinking! Our problem, I think, was partly to do with him sneaking off and peeing in a different room to us, so we had no way of instantly letting him know it was wrong, so now, as much as possible, he is not allowed to roam the house, 'marking his territory' willy nilly! (Excuse the bad joke!) Someone must be in charge of him now, and be ready to stop him in mid-pee and take him outside.

And so it is with our own habits of thinking. If we become aware through our warning signals of emotional pain or undesirable behaviour, or even through how others treat us, we can stop ourselves as soon as we become aware, as I do (most of the time) when I start shrieking at the dog! I can then seize the opportunity pup has given me to teach me and him something! Two for the price of one ! A 'win-win' situation!

I still don't know how I am going to get the smell out of my carpets though!

Love Liz
http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/

An Everyday Miracle

2007-11-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

My mind never shuts up!
The best I can do , until i receive a cure for this is keep the negative stuff out of it as much as possible!

I am a bit addicted to figuring out how our minds work, and this week in particular, why we hold on to things that give us emotional pain.I've been working on my chapter on 'letting go of fear' lately, and I've changed it so much! Anyway, I was pondering to myself this the other day in the car with my daughter sitting quietly by my side, when suddenly, out of the blue she said, 'You know, you can't really get burned by a hot radiator because you automatically take your hand away as soon as you feel it. The only way you get burned is if you deliberately hold on to it'.

This was the answer to my problem I had been thinking about for days. the only way we can feel bad emotional pain is if we hold on. Once you get into the habit of letting go as soon you feel sadness, anger, fear etc, it becomes a much rarer occasion to get 'burnt' by our 'hot' damaging thoughts. To me, it's more than coincidence that my 9 year old should come out randomly with this statement.
Wow!
www.stressalternatives.co.uk

Having a Bad Day

2007-10-30T04:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween
I was feeilng really negative and critical and dissatisfied yesterday, for no particular reason. The gloom just came from nowhere that I can think of, and made me feel like I wanted to hide away and blame the world for this awful struggle I was feeling.

I racked my brain trying to put it down to various things that had happened the previous few days, or the changing of the clocks to winter, or bad news about one of my family member's health, but nothing quite explained it to my satisfaction. Then I blamed the full moon, and my menstrual cycle, then I found a horoscope that predicted 'emotional turmoil' for the early part of the day due to 'moon-jupiter' something or other, so that got the blame (I quite liked that explanation!). One of the times I felt like this before, I had taken myself to the gym to try and shake it off, and when I looked at the TV screens there, it was the Pope's funeral, so I reckoned I was just picking up on the mood of the millions who were grieving his loss.

The truth is though, we can analyse our emotional pain as much as we like, but we really don't ever know why it's there. Having an explanation like, 'My father critisised me when I was young', or 'The full moon affects water balance, and we are 70% water' might appeal to us, but the former can be used as an excuse to continue underachieving and feeling sorry for ourself, and the latter can have us dreading every full moon!

However, if we use these explanations to say, 'That's OK. Maybe I'm just going through a normal low, but it's a bit more than normal because I'm tired, or life's a bit demanding at the moment', we can watch ourself having this feeling and know that no feelings can last forever. In other words, we 'let go' of the need to be anything else but where we are just now. When we do that, it doesn't affect us so badly, and we come out of it quicker too.

I read a brilliant quote the other day that goes like this, 'When you are going through hell, keep going'. I'd like to add, 'Don't stop to figure out why' and 'Try not to act like the devil while you're there!'.

I'm feeling much better now. I just have a couple of apologies to make to the victims of my grumpy mood!!

Funny how I don't feel the need to find an explanation for my 'normal' state!

Look me up on http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.

The Real World?

2007-10-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my second blog of the day! It's only because I haven't had the computer for a week! Not because I have been working hard or anything!

I'm not one for films, as I don't like the idea of sitting down for too long doing 'nothing', but I do admit to liking 'Coronation Street' and 'Desperate Housewives'. There's something compelling about seeing other people's stories and getting angry, upset, proud, sad, surprised, scared, joyful etc on their behalf.

I guess it's the same when you make connections with real people, or when you do anything in life that pushes your emotional buttons. Even just waking up in the morning or looking in the mirror, or hearing a love song on the radio, or waiting in a queue for a bus.

For most of us, while we're watching the film or TV, we are able to tell ourselves, 'It's only a story', if our emotions get the better of us, and we can let go and get on with our lives after the programme is over, or even during it if necessary.

A bit closer to us, when we get emotional about the 'drama' played around us in the 'real world', it usually keeps the drama going and makes it worse if it is a 'bad' drama.

An example for me would be getting angry about my children fighting with each other, and joining in, so we all end up shreiking, and doors being slammed, and me feeling guilty because I'm a bad mother who can't control her kids, or her own temper! We haven't exactly got the Waltons now, but I am learning to let go (sometimes!) of my own internal drama a little, so that I can be in a better position to deal objectively with teenagers who wind each other up at the mere sight of each other! Mealtimes are fun in our house!

I do this by trying to be aware as much as possible when my buttons are pressed, and using these emotions as signals to let go.

Our ego is our personality or 'human' part that consists of thoughts, emotions, desires and behaviour, that interacts with the world all the time we are awake. This is the bit of us that has the 'buttons'.

So what if our ego that we've built up in this life is just a drama as well? What if our 'human' part or personality is our own story that we play the leading role in? If so, when it gets too painful or scary, we could just sit and watch it, as if we were watching someone else's story or a TV soap drama. We have a witnessing part of us that could do this, that we rarely use. If we did this when the going gets tough, our ego has to quieten down as a result. It only stays active as long as we give it attention, and attach our whole self to it, like we would to a TV drama. Our ego is always wanting attention. We don't always have to give it what it wants. It needs taking down a peg or two if it is being too negative or destructive. If you are feeling deep emotional pain, like grief and despair, or panic, or rage, sometimes you get the feeling you are watching yourself doing it. That's because you are watching your ego. You are more than your ego.

Thinking of yourself acting the drama of your own life can help enormously at times of emotional pain. You can decide to stop playing the tragedy and change the plot. You not only are the main actor in your life but you write the script as well. When something you experience is painful, you can take your attention off the pain and take a tea break. If you choose the tragedy, that's what you'll get. Choosing the good things in life isn't always easy. We need to clear the old habits our ego has taken on. My web site has lots of ideas to help with this: http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.

When my ego gets too negative and destructive it gives the game away by causing me emotional pain in the form of anger, sadness, guilt, embarrassment, or I think negatively, or I am tempted to behave in an undesirable way. I am learning to take note of these and realise I'm acting out the tragedy instead of the 'feelgood' story, and I let go more and more.

One of my favourite songs by John Mayer has a line in it that goes like this: 'There's no such thing as the real world: Just a lie you've got to rise above'.

Sending you love!!

Comfort Zones

2007-10-09T02:02:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Reader ( I'm sure I must have one!)

I don’t know how long the expression ‘comfort zone’ has been around, but it seems it’s part of many people’s vocabulary now. It’s years since I read ‘Feel the Fear and do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers, but it’s where I first heard the expression, and it’s definitely a book worth reading on anyone’s self development journey. It says, if I remember it rightly, that whenever you get out of your comfort zone you feel fear, but that only lasts a short time, then your comfort zone has become bigger, and you learn that fear is normal and nothing to be scared of.
This is also the basis for many behavioural techniques used by the psychiatric profession, and many parents in bringing up their children (though they may not know it).

There are many people who find this hard to do. In most cases, fear is a way of life for them. Most have grown up believing that the world is a dangerous place.
The most obvious example of this is the kind of person who never fulfils their potential or anywhere near it because they avoid fear, and their comfort zone is tiny. When ill they might go to the extreme of being agarophobic, or socially phobic.These are the kind of people who are prone to depressive, negative thoughts; that talk themselves out of living life; who procrastinate or live life in a very limited way. Anxiety and panic are a feature for them in any new situation, so they avoid them at all costs. They have few relationships as they are not out there meeting people, and they are more likely to be dominated by others. They don’t trust people. They are prone to depression also because of underachievement.

The much less obvious example is the person who ‘feels the fear and does it anyway’. They are very brave people who also have a belief that the world is a dangerous place, but they push themselves thrrough the ‘pain barrier’, which produces an adrenalin rush that they can become addicted to. They are constantly on ‘red alert’, but the adrenalin rush along with the success of increasing their comfort zone gives them a feeling of elation. This is fine, but they get that they can’t ‘switch off’, and when they get sick, they get insomnia, hyperactivity and restlessness, high anxiety states and panics, and are tempted to get into behaviour that is designed to calm, like obsessive-compulsive problems or addictions or excessive exercise. They do ‘life’ to extremes, and can be very successful as a result, but seldom are they content or calm. Relationships with others are difficult because they like to dominate and stay in control because they also lack trust in others, or they get bored easily and have to constantly be looking for change. They are more likely to come across situations that are ‘dangerous’ because they are ‘out there’ living life to the full, therefore it’s tempting to have their belief that the world is a dangerous place reinforced, because they really are doing more ‘risky’ things than others.

In practice, both extremes can go on in the same person in different situations and times, but in common is the belief that living in the world is dangerous and a struggle. In reality, both extremes have the same issues: fear of rejection; fear of poverty and lack of security; fear of losing power and control; fear of ridicule; fear of doing the wrong thing; fear of critisism etc.
Psychiatric advice given to the ‘avoiders’ is to ‘do more’’ and for the ‘doers’ is often to ‘do less’, but it is so much more effective to get to the root; the reason why one either has to avoid or do instead of just ‘be’.

It might take years of psychotherapy to figure out the reasons, but there’s a part of us that already knows: our subconscious or intuitive part. This part just needs to be given some space to reach our conscious parts or our awareness. We rarely give it any space because we are too busy using our conscious mind to think and do. It never stops! If we were to stay still long enough to ‘just be’, the inspiration and ideas to survive, make money, be loved and love unconditionally and have control comes without effort.

To ‘just be’ is quite a mammoth task for most of us. It doesn’t come naturally for most of us to be quiet. I’d go as far as to say we weren’t put on this earth to be quiet! But what we can do is turn the volume down on our fears. These are destructive parts of us that hold us back or pollute our minds, and through our behaviour to ‘avoid’ or ‘do’we pollute the rest of the world too. Turning the volume down on them will lead to more peace, love, inspiration, creativity and joy. If we have more of that stuff in our mind, we wouldn’t have to push our comfort zone. Our behaviour wouldn’t be about ‘feeling the fear’. It would be about giving and receiving and connecting with people and the world with honesty and authenticity, instead of ‘acting as if’ we had no fear. There would be no ‘fake it till you make it’: just trust!

Becoming aware of our mind pollution and reducing the volume as we go along with a few strategies I talk about on my website www.stressalternatives.co.uk will get you doing stuff outside your comfort zone that will astound you. You will probably do something without thinking then realise later that you didn’t get your usual anxiety about it. Have a look!

Scotch Broth for the Heart!

2007-09-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Hi from the kitchen.
I just made a pot of lentil soup! Sorry, scotch broth is beyond me, and not so 'new age' either! It made me think of nurturing. Shame not all my children will eat my soup. Maybe it's because it's 'pants'. Naw, it's probably because it doesn't give the same 'buzz' as the tinned tomato! You have to take a few spoonfuls before you realise what you've got. The tinned tomato doesn't have the same lumpy consistency, and it looks and smells great and promising, but not so good for you as the home made! So, if I want others to eat my lentil soup, or for that matter read my articles on my website www.stressalternatives.co.uk I have to convince them to 'have a few spoonfuls'.
I don't have a lot of charismatic verbal persuasive skills up my sleeve. Most people try stuff they're not sure of by being frightened into it by being forced or told the consequences of their inactions, or because they haven't any other choice (and they're hungry enough), or they might do it because they want to impress the person who recommends it. So, if I want my kids to eat my lentil soup, I have a few choices: 1) give them nothing else (and hide all the goodies, treats and lock the food cupboards!) ; 2) preach to them about the horrible diseases they might get if they don't eat my lentil soup; 3) ram it down their throats until they learn their lesson! They'll grow up big and strong but a bit loopy! 4) bribe them with the yummy ice cream for after they've eaten the soup or 5) give them real choice: my soup or the tinned, and give them whatever they choose with love, and hope that the love makes up for the the excess salt and sugar in the tin. I reckon it always does! Just don't give them too much choice and don't include sweets and crisps in the main course!
Anyway, getting back to my advice for personal development and mental health, it isn't that obvious till you read the articles that my website is full of stuff you can get your teeth into, but it is,so when you realise that your antidepressants are just 'tinned soup', visit me!
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Bon appetite!

Post Holiday Resolutions

2007-08-21T00:59:00.000-07:00

Happy summertime!

There's certain times of the year that are ripe for making positive changes. The main one is at New Year when people decide on resolutions, and for me, another one comes after the summer break. As I've just got the kids off to school for the new term, my own intentions are set again to 'sort out' things I'm not happy with, let go of a few things that create clutter and really get down to the business of my New Year's resolutions.

This year, I've felt more than others that I can do this as I have set more definite goals than ever before, and have kept them in my mind often, and have found ways of keeping the sabotage under control. I believe that the sabotage has always managed to stop me before.

Whenever we set an intention to improve things for ourselves, our sabotage or 'self-destruct' parts show up pretty quickly. Where do they come from? It's tempting to think it's the devil testing us, and some people buy into this, and who am I to argue? Maybe the 'devil' is just that destructive part of us rather than a malevolent power outside of ourselves.

For example, when you start on the diet, what do you see all around but lovely fattening food! When you decide to declutter your house, you go down with extreme fatigue, or get taken off on a 2 hour trip into nostalgia when you come across your old photos, or suddenly you MUST watch this very interesting daytime TV show about the latest fashion to hit the swimwear industry, even though you can't swim!

In my work with people with anxiety and depression, of course it is nearly always everyone's intention to 'get better', and I have lots of suggestions to help with this; many that really work, but people either don't carry out my suggestions, or do it for a bit, experience changes for the better, but then stop doing the work with lots of different excuses. I can forgive them for this as I do it too. But why? If it makes things better, why not keep doing it? Sometimes it's because it's very hard work, and it is if we don't deal with the sabotage buttons in our mind. It's like driving the car with the brakes on.

One of the biggest sabotage buttons is mistrust of the process. A feeling that, 'This won't work', or that, 'What's the point? I'll only fail!' will act as our 'brakes'. Some people form such a strong belief that they are always right (not me!) that the sabotage buttons will always be pressed if even a small part of them has this belief.

How quickly the sabotage shows up after a good intention is set will give a measure of how big it is. Trouble is, it's not always something you can explain. Yes, it's obvious it's there because it stops us achieving, but to say 'Aha, that's because I am frightened of change', eg when working on confidence, or 'That's because I feel guilty about letting go' when working on a bereavement, isn't easy. The reasons for sabotage could be many and could take years figuring it all out with a therapist.

But what if you could get a metaphorical vacuum cleaner that sucked out all the sabotaging beliefs, thoughts and emotions? Even the ones we are unaware of, ie, our subconscious ones, which are usually a lot like the submerged part of an iceberg, ie, a huge part of us.

This year, I found a particularly effective cleanser for my subconscious sabotagers, in the form of the Z point process. Here's a small example of how I used it the other day. I had the task of cleaning my house hanging over me like a huge dark cloud and felt so fatigued (I'm a bit averse to housework!). I used the Z point process' ETT technique before I got started, then had a brilliantly productive day. I'm so chuffed! Placebo? Well that's another subject for another day!

Check these websites: www.Zpointprocess.com
www.stressalternatives.co.uk

Natural Urges and the Conscious Mind

2007-07-17T03:24:00.000-07:00

I'd like to introduce you to 2 members of our family: Candy and Sandy. They're our gerbils!

We have a bit of a problem with them. They chew away the plastic door to their cage, then they can escape, as Candy did in the middle of the night, and scared the life out of me scuttling around under my bed! I thought we had rats!

They are very busy animals. In between sleeping, they work, chewing and burrowing. When you put even strong tape on the door, they chew through that too! The only way to deal with the problem is to keep them supplied with other things to chew, like toilet roll middles and their favourite: egg boxes. If only we ate more eggs!

Us humans are different. We may have urges to behave in certain ways, but because we can think things through, we can resist doing that which is 'wrong', but it isn't always easy. Sometimes we have to replace one habit with another. If we feel restless and are constantly looking for activity, like Candy and Sandy, we can decide to focus our energy on something productive (like chewing egg boxes!) or we can choose to do something destructive (like chewing doors!). (Or maybe Candy and Sandy really do know about the door leading to freedom!)

But it isn't that simple. Why would we ever choose the door rather than the delicious egg box? When we keep going back to the door, it's because we 'resonate' with it rather than the egg box! Why do we keep going back to chocolate, when trying to lose weight, rather than eating fruit? Because we resonate with it. The part of us that creates the resonance is our 'mind pollution', and can mostly be unconscious. Like an iceberg, the unconscious mind is unseen and not obvious, unless we know what to look for. Life gives us signals all the time. Whatever gives us emotional pain acts as a signal. This could be in the form of a person or situation that creates emotional pain, or that which comes from emotional pain, i.e. physical sensations and tensions or bad behavioural habits.

Beliefs are what we bring from the past to the present. Negative beliefs create fear and tension and make us resonate with destructive things. If we didn't have the tension, we wouldn't feel the need to 'chew the cage door'. In traditional psychotherapy, the purpose would be to make the unconscious beliefs conscious, then work on letting them go.

However, getting rid of the tension is much easier than you think, if you are willing to be open to the possibility that 'energy therapies' work. You don't have to identify all your self destructive beliefs either! My favourite self help ones are 'Timeline Detachment Practice' (invented by me!), 'EFT' and 'Z point process', and for those who don't want self help, homeopathy. There's lots of free information and links on my website: http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.

Got to go! I've got two eggs left in that box. It's time to make pancakes!!

2007-07-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

Live Earth was on this weekend, so here's my tuppenceworth.

It's nice to know that the world is waking up to the fact that our behaviour is wrong. It's not that we are bad. but many are unaware of the impact wasteful, thoughtless behaviour has on the environment, so this weekend's awareness raising session by celebrities is fantastic.
But how has it got to this stage? Why do we have to be 'sick' as a planet, race or individually before we sit up and go "Oh shit"! (in more ways than one).

I guess that it's more than just lack of awareness. Probably many of us will have been exposed to this message many times before, but we still choose to behave wastefully. Those who profess to religiously recycle and reuse etc, usually do it because they like doing it. It fits in with their thrifty ideas about the world anyway, so it's no hassle. They then can feel righteous and say, "well, I recycle, buy 2nd hand clothes and cycle everywhere and so should everyone else!".

Like any behaviour, we do it often because it 'suits' us. It 'resonates' with us. If there was a law made forcing us to stay indoors, it would 'suit' the socially phobic and agarophobic, but the rest of us would build up tension. Same with the environmental message. To be green would create 'tension', particularly begin with as we change habits. It doesn't come naturally to us .

So how could it be made easier? Could we change something so that we can resonate more with the green way of life? The message this weekend delivered by celebrities went some way towards it, as what they did was change beliefs. Beliefs create tension which creates our behaviours.

The message that I got at the weekend was: 1. It's cool to be green; 2. It's important to be green; 3. It's wrong to be wasteful; 4. We all have individual resonsibility and 5. Working together will produce big results.

Beliefs like this can enable positive desirable behaviour, but what if you also hold on to the old previously held beliefs? for example: 1. Green is for hippies; 2. Live for today and don't worry about tomorrow and 3. Green is the government's responsibility? Will it result in positive change or will old habits win?

Repetition might be one way to get the message through, and I guess that's what we do in health education, but it's pretty costly, hard work and time consuming. It's not just about education about the positive, but a process of identifying the negative beliefs and consciously working on getting people to let them go.

The same thing happens when we want to tackle our health or make any positive changes in our life. We can do it a lot easier if we sort out the opposing beliefs that sabotage our good intentions.

When we want to lose weight, for instance, we get a diet plan, and a target weight to aim for, but the reason so many people fail is because of the sabotaging part of us (and cos fat and sugar taste sooo good!). Many of these beliefs are unconscious. They might be several of a whole list of beliefs, for example, "I have no self control; I am scared of being the right weight because of new responsibilities; Being fat protects me from advances of the opposite sex; Eating stops me being angry; I am a bad person who doesn't deserve to be healthy or beautiful" .

There are a few new energy therapies that can be used in a self help way to quickly deal with these. Check out my website for my favourites.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Liz

From the Heart Not the Head

2007-07-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was not always into homeopathy and alternative therapies. I was brought up by pretty 'normal' good working class Scottish parents. I studied science at university then psychiatric nursing: all good reasons for sticking to the 'straight and narrow' of the conventional medical world.
My first experience of holistic medicine was receiving homeopathic treatment 11 years ago for what I thought was a purely physical problem that my doctor had run out of ideas to treat. Not only was my physical problem sorted out very quickly, but a week after a course of 4 tablets only, my mood was so much better than I had experienced ever! It felt great to be alive!
Working in the mental health field, this emotional aspect fascinated me, and I set about studying the subject for the next 5 years.
Each time I received a good remedy, I made leaps in my understanding of myself, and felt a bit further along my personal journey.
Pretty quickly I discovered the opposing force of the conventional medical world and the skeptic, but the more I treated family, friends and my patients, the more I knew this treatment was much more powerful than the 'placebo' (sugar pill) reaction that many skeptics claim to be the reason for it's success. I didn't need scientific studies to convince me, and neither did my patients. Only some of the doctors I worked with seemed to need this too. I did for a while get concerned about this and look into trying to find evidence for homeopathy's effectiveness mainly just to defend my practice. There is evidence available, though not for many specific ailments as it's a holistic treatment. Nowadays I don't feel the need to pursue this line of enquiry, as it takes good energy away from what I really want to do, which is to get on with it!
Somehow I was pushed to the fringes of society, just because I found something that actually worked for the mental and physical health of myself, my family, friends and patients, and it was safe to take!
I would say (though not in those early days) that homeopathy can only take you so far in personal growth. I had been looking at other self help and new age authors such as Brandon Bays and Louise Hay, and doing their courses, and the Silva Mind Control helped me move forward a little more. However, the most powerful book to 'change my life' was 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle, which made me realise the power of awareness of my thoughts. I discovered just by watching my thoughts that I was still essentially a negative, critical person, and learned that they are only thoughts and could be changed. This set me further along a journey which made me look at mindfulness, psychosynthesis and cognitive behavioural principles which have been the main recent influences in my writing and practice.
I was very thankful that I worked in the NHS, and not principally as a homeopath, because it led me to find ways from within oneself to solve emotional pain.
My most recent discoveries of EFT (emotional freedom technique) and Z point process, have helped further move on my growth process to the point I am at now. (By the way, I am still 'only toty!'). My aim now is to get this information out to others. It's a bit evangelical for me!
My point: I never set out to look at alternative therapies. I discovered something that worked though I didn't know how. In doing so, it opened up a whole new world of possibilities for treatment and self help.That appeals to my increasingly rebellious independant sub-personality I wasn't even aware of before. I am not a hippie, irreverant 'tree hugger', but a pragmatist who has found something that works because I was open to the possibility that it might.
Give it a try yourself!
Read my articles on www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Liz Temple

My Despair!

2007-07-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

I'm indignant!

I've been working in the helping profession for a long time now, and would you credit it? Some people don't listen to what I say, and don't do what I tell them! They come to me full of complaints about how their life is, and I, with my great wisdom learned from books (isn't this the best way?) tell them all the ways they can change. Do they realise how honoured they should be? That stressed mother of 5, or the woman who has lived through a childhood of abuse and fear doesn't have to read all the books themselves! Sometimes people have the cheek to find a way to cope that hasn't been proved by psychologists, doctors or scientists! Even my husband and children don't listen to me! I despair!!

Do you know that some of my patients don't trust me? After I've spent hours studying and tell them about this fantastic (sometimes even evidence based) therapy that will sort them, they metaphorically stick the two fingers up at me, and carry on doing what they usually do, even though it hasn't worked in the past! Where do they get this total mistrust of people from?

OK, so they've maybe spent a lot of time in the past being let down by people who they should have been able to trust, or have had to churn out their story to umpteen well meaning curious professionals in their life, but THAT'S NO EXCUSE! Even I have to admit I have made the odd error of judgement myself in the past, but now I'm perfect and I DEMAND RESPECT!

I also demand respect from conventional medics. How dare they mistrust homeopaths and other new agers! Just because some of us believe in Atlantis, angels and tree hugging! What's wrong with that? And we drone on about energy, auras and vibrations! (see my website http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk). Some of the claims they make are just as unlikely, for example,'cure', 'non-invasive investigations' and 'very mild side effects'.

I blame the NHS because it's free. Bring back charging, and the patient will listen to every last word of wisdom, as each one will have cost them. Maybe we'll then get the trust and respect we truly deserve!

Liz

The NHS and the state of psychiatry

2007-06-25T01:42:00.000-07:00

Over the last few years there has been a big move in the NHS to provide 'evidence based' practice. This means that there has to have been good quality clinical research to prove the effectiveness of a treatment. For drug treatment this research, carried out of course by drug companies, has been essential to ensure patients' safety. Once the treatment is proved experimentally to be effective and 'safe' for a specific diagnosed complaint, it can be licensed and used.

In psychiatry, it has always been necessary to provide more than just drug treatment, and traditionally mental health workers have known the therapeutic value of activities that change peoples' thoughts and beliefs about themselves and the world around them. It isn't rocket science that someone with confidence, be it through having a good social network or achieving at work, sports, art, music etc, is going to have better mental health as a result. People with depression undertaking therapy to increase their insight, such as counselling, alternative therapies and psychotherapy will also improve their mental health.

The trouble is that there is a requirement in the NHS now for these approaches to have the 'evidence based' stamp of approval. Of course, drug companies will not pay for such research, and funding for any kind of psychological research is pretty sparse. Though psychologists do the bulk through educational funding, the rest of us clinicians are too busy coping with heavy caseloads and large waiting lists. There are also lots of difficulties, apart from time constraints, in doing research in some of these therapies. The 'gold standard' in scientific research is the 'placebo controlled double blind trial', which requires that the patient and clinician doesn't know what treatment they will receive, or whether it be a placebo (just a sugar pill) or not. Of course, it's impossible to do that with most of the non-drug treatments in psychiatry, so even if there are good research findings, they are seen as 'second class' in scientific and medical circles, who advise our government. As a result, there are only a handful of non-drug therapies given the evidence based stamp, the main ones being cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT).

In the field of mental health, workers of various disciplines are being encouraged to train to do these therapies, particularly since the government's aim is to reduce antidepressant prescribing and help in other ways, which is a good thing. Some nurses have deskilled and concentrate on only providing evidence based stuff. As a result, all other therapeutic possibilities are dismissed until a 'miracle' happens, and someone in 'research land' comes up with the evidence. What did they do before CBT got the stamp? Didn't people get better? Of course they did, and still do from non-evidence based practice! I am proud to provide this for my patients, though I don't broadcast it too loudly! It's like the emperor's new clothes story. We all put up and shut up. We conform, and go and train do do these therapies, then feel superior to those who provide 'second class' therapeutic interventions to the mass of people that CBT and IPT are not suitable for.

This policy of only providing evidence based practice is stifling original thought at least in mental health in the NHS. We are importing our therapies from the States because that is mainly where the research is being done.

As for alternative therapies, we haven't a hope in getting recognition from the NHS, though privately, it is increasing hugely. Why? Because the NHS is mainly palliating with drugs that have side effects. The doctor's favourite saying is ' there are side effects, but the benefits outweigh the risks'. If someone was willing to provide money and research expertise I'd set about proving my approach's effectiveness. Anyone out there?

To conclude, I'm not anti evidence based practice, but it must be recognised for it's limitations, particularly in the mental health field. I heard an inspiring story the other day from a nurse who got a football team together made up of people with severe mental illness, and how many were able to go and work as a result of increasing their confidence. There's more than one way to skin a cat! I rest my case!

Visit my website for another way! www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Liz Temple

Introducing my ego!

2007-06-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

Happy midsummer night!
I have a serious mental health problem! I am deluded that I can help people to make positive changes! I am also egotistical enough to be quite obsessed with trying to figure out how to do this. Instead of taking life easy, I have been afflicted with this illness of feeling responsible (and also that I am always right!). I am not egotistical enough to believe that I have a 'calling' from God or anything, but I can't shake this feeling I need to do the aforementioned. What a waste! I could be partying or watching Big Brother! Actually, I'm not that fond of partying or watching Big Brother. How sick is that?
Visit my website on www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Bye for now
Liz